she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
