I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
