Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
