he wants to bone in the snuggie
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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