My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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