Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
