She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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