im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
