this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
