Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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