She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
