OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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