We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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