i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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