Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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