The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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