Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
