you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
