I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
