Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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