We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
