The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
