Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
