Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
