tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
