I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
