I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
