What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
