FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
