Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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