The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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