i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fill condoms, not promises.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
