Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
