he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
