Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
