dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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