Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
