But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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