My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
