sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
