I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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