Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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