So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
