seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
