Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
