real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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