it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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