he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
