that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
