I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The adults are the big ones right?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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